Natalie Whatley

For those of you who may have been hiding out in a cave, or just prefer to keep your head stuck in the sand, Valentine’s Day is this Thursday. Your significant other will want to hear your accounting of Victorian-era poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways”.  

Valentine’s celebrations became very simple for Jeff and me 15 years ago when we celebrated for the first time as parents. In honor of our new son, and to avoid over-drafting the bank account, we renounced the commercial side of the holiday. Sounds a little sad, I know, but we couldn’t have been happier.

I’ve never missed the “stuff”, and I receive roses periodically, and “just because” at other times of the year. I’ll refrain from explaining why, as I don’t wish to upset my floral friends. I recall a conversation, shortly after quitting my job to become a full-time mother, where groceries vs. flowers was discussed. It was a short conversation. Bless his heart for asking, “Would it be okay if we eat for the next couple of weeks, or can you make some sort of soup with the dead flowers?”  Of course I let him off the hook; we managed just fine, and the pantry was not bare.

Middle age and expanding waistlines have given us many reasons (pounds) to eliminate candy in February.  We spend most of January trying to undo the Halloween through New Year damage, and by Valentine’s we’re feeling pretty good about our progress.  The very recent memory of just how uncomfortable our jeans had become is a powerful motivator.

We’re not exchanging cards this year, as the box containing nearly 17 year’s worth is full. I think we’ll open that box, and visit Valentine past. We’ll chuckle over the fact that Jeff has purchased the same card multiple times over the years, and enjoy all over again the cards proudly crafted by tiny hands.

I’m afraid even Valentine’s dinner out at a restaurant has suffered the ax. This one no longer has roots in budgetary constraints; we just prefer less-crowded dates, and much shorter waits.

Our leanest financial years have been behind us for some time now, but I learned through that period that I truly enjoy the simple things life has to offer. It’s a good thing I had all of those years to practice because that same little boy who inspired Mom and Dad to think beyond themselves will start driving exactly 11 months after this Valentine’s Day. Maxine at Ken Mitchell’s State Farm office has given me a pretty good idea of just how lean it’s going to get.

It’s OK, really. What I’ve given up absolutely pales in comparison to what I got in return: a husband who has encouraged and allowed me to follow my dreams, and three no-longer-little people who have made all the struggles worthwhile.

I can only hope that the semi-constant supply of clean clothes, meals, and my undying love can come close to showing my heart-felt thanks to my valentine.  My answer to “How do I love thee?”   I couldn’t possibly ever count all the ways.

© 2008 Natalie Whatley

Tags: marriage with kids, Valentine's Day