Happy Easter, Baytown!
In an effort to put together something coherent and clever for your Easter- Sunday perusal, I set out researching Easter-y things. I came out on the other side of two hours, with a strange conglomeration of information, no direction whatsoever, and feeling a bit stressed. I strive to maintain some standards, and to say I wasn’t ”feeling it” this week would be an understatement.
With the pollen count reaching infinity, I’ve been in a Benadryl-induced fog for well over a week. I also feel compelled to remind you the kids are out of school, and Jeff’s off from work for spring break; short of locking myself in the bathroom, I haven’t had much alone time to work on my weekly offering. I’m certain I’ll look back on this article, and say, “What was I thinking?” Then I’ll remind myself that I wasn’t. I couldn’t. Clear as mud, right? Here goes.
I know I’m not alone in thinking Easter seemed to come early this year; it did. Since the middle ages, Easter has been observed on the first Sunday after the first full moon that occurs on, or before March 21st. Given that, the earliest possible date for Easter is March 22nd. Easter hasn’t fallen on that date since 1818, and won’t do so again, until the year 2285!
This year, Easter falls on March 23rd, and it won’t fall on this date again until the year 2160.
The latest possible date for Easter is April 25th. Easter hasn’t landed on that date since 1943, but will do so again in the year 2038. I think I have a good sporting chance of making it to that one.
Before anyone e-mails to set me straight, I am aware that the calculation rule stated above is for the Western Christian churches. The Eastern Christian churches follow a different method. I’ll not confuse the issue by delving into the details. Let’s just say there have been efforts made over many years to reach an accord, and folks were unable to agree. Imagine that. My mind is still reeling from trying to understand it all. Feel free to look it up at your own leisure.
Switching over to an entirely different subject (I warned you that I was not thinking clearly), I found that the Jelly Belly Candy Company has been selling Bertie Bott’s Jelly Beans. (Warning: Don’t read the next few lines if you have a weak stomach) Partitioned neatly inside the 1.6 oz. box are jelly beans of the following flavors: earwax, bacon, dirt, spinach, grass, booger, sardine, black pepper, rotten egg, earthworm, soap, spaghetti, and last, but certainly not least, vomit. Yuck! And who was the person who taste-tested and knew what all those things should taste like? Double Yuck!
How do I know that every man who just read this is looking for a box right now? I pity the poor unsuspecting soul who picks up a few of these out of the bowl on his co-workers desk.
I think I’ll avoid jelly beans until I’m thinking a little more clearly.
Tags: allergies, Easter, jelly beans