Natalie Whatley

Here it is October in Texas. It doesn’t get much better in my book. The cooler days tempered with the perfect amount of sunshine cause most of us to find an excuse to be outside. Just for you, I’m toiling away indoors. Please don’t feel guilty. I’m sitting by an open window enjoying a most pleasant breeze along with the sights and sounds of the many birds and squirrels sharing my piece of real estate.  Lucky animals. They care not of last week’s presidential non-debate, upcoming elections, the Wall Street bail-out, or the impending political “October surprise” we keep hearing pundits warn is coming.  That’s the life.

I’ve heard some say we’re in a financial crisis at least equivalent to the Great Depression. So, I’m not much in the mood to do any fall decorating which includes adorning my flowerbeds with mums, pumpkins and other items that will find their way to the trash immediately following Thanksgiving. I may need the money required for such frivolity to feed my family. And, at some point I may be forced to forage with my little furry friends.  I have a survival advantage in that I’m watching where they’re burying the acorns, and I’m bigger. (Mental note: research acorn recipes when this week’s writing complete.)

Thank goodness my children are beyond the point of wanting highly-marketed, cheaply-made, but still very expensive Halloween costumes.  I learned years ago what the real October surprise is for new parents: the price tag for dolling up little cherubs so that they can mingle with all the other little cherubs at fall social events.  The joke is on you, Mom and Dad. The pricey costume will spend the evening draped over your arm because it’s too itchy, too hot, scratchy, hurts, broke, ripped, etc.  

 After getting over the crafting and sewing inabilities that kept me from being chosen for the “my-child-has-the-best-costume -ever” competition team, I learned that kids can be pretty darn frugal and creative when left to their own costuming devices. The sickest parental participants are those gifted enough to make great-looking costumes. They don’t mind telling everyone within ear-shot, “Oh, I just threw it together over a weekend with some scraps left over from the curtains I fashioned out of garage-sale bed sheets.”  There’s a special place for people like that. No, not THERE…the psychiatric ward. It’s too bad hot glue guns would probably not be allowed in the padded rooms. That’s a shame. Pardon me for not being more sympathetic.

Speaking of guns, how many of you recall dressing up for Halloween and going to school alongside GI Joe, a mobster, or a cowboy complete with a toy replica of the appropriate firearm?  It really did happen back in the day, right here in Baytown. I have the 1983 Gentry Mustang yearbook, complete with incriminating photos to prove it. Times have changed. Show up at school like that now, and you’ll not see the light of day ever again.

In these trying times, we must all do our part to keep the economy afloat. Please purchase large quantities of cavity-inducing confectionary delights. You’ve got a few weeks to stock up. It’s necessary that we load the little darlings down with goodies, and then make sure they consume it all sparingly. If we are indeed about to see Depression-era-like times, today’s children, and myself for that matter, are not going to know what hit them.  In that kind of world, I bet acorns taste like chicken.  

© 2008 Natalie Whatley

Tags: economic woes, Halloween, October surprise, politics