Tomorrow will be an interesting day – one with possibilities of going a couple of divergent ways – a classic case of contradiction. Seems to be how I roll lately. I don’t know why I should expect any different. The suspense is terrific!
School bells will ring in the 2009-2010 school year at 7:20, 7:50, and 8:30 a.m. for the Whatley brood. The early hours of Monday will zip by so fast that I’ll not have time to think about them until they’re spent and I’m back home alone where it will be quiet enough to hear myself think. True to form, though, I’m going to worry about it a little ahead of time.
Since I spent a good portion of the summer weeks submerged in perpetual movement and noise, on the surface I’ll be angels-singing joyful, frolicking about with a spring in my step. But I’ll be crying on the inside. Tomorrow will be the last first day of elementary school for me. The baby (don’t tell her I called her that) is starting fifth grade. She’s ready, and I think I am, too.
It’s going to be a bittersweet moment, and I’m unsure which one will stick with me when I exit the rollercoaster I’m bound to ride. As of this writing, I’m pretty pumped over being so close to moving on. But lately, things I never saw coming have taken me by surprise, so I’m trying to consider all the angles ahead of time and prepare proper responses.
The bitter: Aside from the fact she’s growing up, all these years she’s kept me from feeling too aged as my oldest entered junior high and high school. Some shred of youth can be maintained while one’s offspring are still in elementary. Next year, she’ll no longer be there, middle child will leave junior high, oldest will graduate, and I’ll turn 40. I’m trying to brace for it now as I suspect it may be cataclysmic. Not exactly what I had in mind when, on any given ordinary day, I hoped for something to rock my world.
The sweet: Only one more year of all the elementary-school trappings. I can’t help being excited; this will be my fourth time through – the third time in 11 long years. I’ll push through and sustain my attention while I ramp up my underwhelming enthusiasm; she’s well worth it. This will also be the year teachers will encourage a little more academic independence. Thank goodness! I’m just about spent in that department. I’m available for help, as needed, but I’m ready to cheer from the sidelines instead of being in the game.
It seems such a short time ago, I took her to her first day of kindergarten. And I, thinking I’d need to fill some time, took a part-time job working with pre-school-aged children. I spent that school year discovering I was very much past all that entails that age group. Nothing against the little munchkins; they’re cute, sweet, and melt my heart with their innocence, but they’re also exhausting and ooze from places I didn’t want to deal with any more.
All the girlie preparation – hair, clothes, etc. – is done. We shopped, shopped some more and spent hours playing our own little version of dress-up. Then we discussed the need for additional shopping when the weather turns cooler. The men of the house sighed, rolled their eyes, and asked why she needed so many different pairs of shoes. Silly boys!
I have no idea what tomorrow morning will bring, but I’ve gathered my own set of school supplies: Kleenex and upbeat music for the lone ride home and dancing shoes for when I get home. Silence has a glorious rhythm.
© 2009 Natalie Whatley
Tags: first day of school
August 23rd, 2009 at 7:28 am
Well, I think you are a real trooper and still a kid yourself, so take heart and enjoy the ride!