The Discovery Channel has Shark Week, and not to be outdone, I’m going to host and review my own little Reptile Week here today. I’m pretty sure my version won’t be nearly as riveting, but you know I’m going on with the show anyway.
First episode begins with a slightly frightening letter I received from Gladys “Granny” Adcox of Highlands. She reported a snake sighting inside the confines of her home. I’ll go ahead and quote her verbatim, because it’s funnier to hear her tell it. We’ll paint some visuals together.
“Wish me luck. I’ve got a snake in the house. My lady that works for me came in about 9 o’clock yesterday and found it. She didn’t know what to do. So, she got some insect spray and sprayed it on its head.”
Ok, that’s not the end, but I must interrupt the programming to say that made me laugh right out loud! I can just see tiny, in her-mid-nineties Granny and another lady hovering over a serpent with a can of Raid.
“It started crawling off and we watched it go into a front bedroom. We closed the door, so it wouldn’t get out. My neighbor came over and brought his flashlight and a little hoe, but failed to find it.”
I don’t know why, but I see Inspector Clouseau complete with the detective hat and magnifying glass. I hope the kind, un-bumbling neighbor helping Granny gets a chuckle out of that.
“My granddaughter and her husband came today and searched that room for about 2 hours. They didn’t find it.”
I tell you, that Granny is tough as nails to remain in that home. A lesser woman (me) would have vacated those premises until the slitherin’, bug-spray-smellin’, forked-tongue intruder was captured.
“A friend of mine is going to come over tomorrow with her little dog. We hope the dog will be able to find the snake.”
Now, in proper TV fashion I’m going to leave you all hanging. Queue the ominous music, and cut!
Man it’s fun clapping that black-and-white director thingy shut. I feel so powerful having you all perched on the edge of your seats.
If my writer (ahem, Granny…) provides another installment, I’ll be sure to share.
Episode two involves my being a total sucker for those pop-psychology questionnaires, “Are you (fill in the blank)?”
I get a kick out of studying me. Not that I’m all that interesting, but because I’m my own guinea pig. No one else would put up with my shenanigans or the constant questioning.
The one that caught my eye this past week dealt with “social connectors” or people who can connect with virtually anyone, and maybe anything.
According to the in-depth, four-question quiz I am one, with a bit of an oddity (go figure) in that I’m introverted. But I’m also a “social chameleon”. Ooh.
On some level I’ve always known that and I was glad to confirm and see the slant that painted us environmental color-changers in a positive light.
You know I looked it all up and like everything else there is a dark side: Some “chameleons” are not as sweet as me and use their skill for nefarious (that’s wicked times a hundred) purposes.
Anyway, I sure hope Granny found that sneaky snake. If not, I may have to pay her home a visit . . . cross over to the dark side and use some cunning and trickery to coax it out of her life.
I may need a few of you to assist. Somebody needs to hold the dog, I’ll need another to hide the bug spray and the rest, please distract Clouseau with the hoe!
© 2012 Natalie Whatley