Natalie Whatley

I’ll confess from the outset that my mind is all over the place this week. For starters, I’m cohabitating with kids full time while school is out. That on top of messed-up sleep patterns and a recent patch of watching too much television caused my disorientation. But I’ll get to that in a moment.

 On this second day of the brand-new year I sit contemplating that 2011 is a Rabbit year under the Chinese zodiac. No, I’m not “up” on the subject, nor do I dwell upon this type of thing, but I frequently immerse myself in Asian culture while dining at the Hibachi Buffet. 

Being so cultured, my ears perked when I heard a news story about the approaching Rabbit. Supposedly, this will be a more peaceful, fun, relaxing year as the ferocious 2010 Tiger leaves.  Be patient, though, the change won’t be official until February 2; calmness may not settle over us until then. I’ll take serenity whenever I can get it.

Anyway, I know you’d expect no less from me, so I have derived my own little system of prognosticating. 2011 will likely be the Twilight Zone for me. I got the notion from an annual tradition that causes me to glue myself to the TV overnight and for hours longer than I will watch combined for the remainder of the year: watching the SyFy —used to be Sci-Fi— channel’s “Twilight Zone” New Years marathon. (Should you ever need a cure for insomnia look up that name change and the resulting whimpering and gnashing of the teeth. Some people really need to get a life. Seriously, is that all you have to be upset about?) Yes, I’m aware I could own them all on DVD and view at my leisure. That takes all the fun out of it.

In spite of the fact that the series started a decade before I was even born, I love it. So what if it’s black and white with now laughable special effects. The stories are classic—written by the likes of Ray Bradbury among others.  Episodes deliver a mix of fantasy, science fiction, suspense, and horror often concluding with an unexpected twist.  Most were weaved into what could have been real life upping the ante and causing the viewer to feel a little (or a lot) unnerved.

Even better, writers were using science fiction for social comment and going uncensored because television networks at the time were ignorant of such a delivery method. Brilliant. What stark contrast to where we are now: We let it all hang out, heck, spoon-feed it, no need for any thought process. Sad.

Long before the popular TV show took the name, twilight zone simply meant “gray area”. And that’s precisely what I’m feeling for 2011. Tough for a girl who spent most her 40 years categorizing life events black, white, or other colors of the rainbow. Gray was never an option, and I certainly shied away from unexpected endings – gave me some silly sense of control. (Insert maniacal laugh here.)

Armed with a nice span of powerful ideas brought forth through cautionary tales more about human behavior than aliens and/or monsters, I’ll enter this “dimension of imagination” and do my best not to appear cheesy with dramatic flair. It will be a journey of sight, sound, and mind, for I have now entered The Twilight Zone.

© Natalie Whatley 2011

Since it’s only mid-January, many of us are still bathing in the fresh-start afterglow. Resolutions promise to deliver conditional change if we’re prepared to do the hard work. The result is often a worthy prize and more often than not, way too lofty a goal. It may help to set several mini-goals and remember that the longest of journeys begins with a single step.

The fact that my running/walking route has been more crowded on the days weather permitted proves I’m not alone in my quest to log some extra miles in 2010. It’s said that to fully understand a man, one must walk a mile in his shoes. Thus the reason I’m going to walk several hundred in my own.

Last summer, and for the first time ever, I got a head start (or maybe it was just a very late start to the previous year’s resolution) on what has become an annual New Year’s tradition: promising to take better care of the vessel that dutifully carries me through both tumult and triumph.

I was glad I did it and vowed to get through the holidays without the scale inching higher – realizing that if past behavior predicts future, I could count on failure. But I made it! And I’m not bragging, although I am very proud of myself. I know it sounds a bit cliché, but if I can do it anybody can, because this girl likes to eat!

Having made it over that hurdle, I was on to phase two: pushing myself out of maintenance mode and into things much harder. With the recent spate of frigid temperatures forcing me indoors, I’ve had ample opportunities (my motivational word for a chunk of time that could be better spent) to go heavy on the weight training and spend some time with fitness gurus who motivate me.

Courtesy of Billy Blanks (Tae-Bo), Jillian Michaels (Biggest Loser), and Denise Austin, I hurt in places I forgot I had and amble about like I assume I will 50-plus years from now. (No offense to those blessed to be in their 90s. I bet the spry Gladys “Granny” Adcox of Highlands could run circles around me on my best day.)

To provide more depth to the experience, I’m also working towards increased mental strength. In so many ways, it’s much harder than the physical. I dig deep, unearth regrets, get angry, get sad, cry, laugh, and repeat. Mental gymnastics are exhausting.

Why am I intentionally inflicting pain upon myself? To get something that won’t be as immediately recognizable as a more toned physique. The body will shrink, but hopefully the mind will grow. I know it’s working to some degree as my threshold for discomfort has risen. Naturally-occurring anesthesia gained through perseverance is a wonderful thing.

I’m learning a great deal – mostly along the lines of pain being a great motivator. Running away and cowering from the source doesn’t mesh well with my independent spirit. So, I’ll stand toe-to-toe, look my adversary square in the eye, and turn the tables. Anguish can be a powerful propellant.

When I rise the following morning, stiff and painfully aware of the battle waged, I’ll grin, bear it, and remember no pain, no gain.

© 2010 Natalie Whatley

As one who enjoys observing the world and all that goes on in it, I keep my finger on the pulse of the wild roller-coaster ride we call life. I thought for some time about the new year we have before us and decided I didn’t want to look back. So, let’s all take a breather from what has been and look to what will be.

I have no expertise in predicting future trends, but I can Google with the best. Below, you’ll find a synopsis of what some in the know say will be hot, hot, hot for 2009. Fashionable highfalutin types claim that those of us who hang our hats in the Southern United States take about two years to catch up with pretty much everything. I’m doing you a great service here; many of our brethren won’t catch on until 2011. Here’s your chance to look very avant-garde.

I’ll start with women’s fashion because, honestly, is there anything else? (For those who are without the curse/benefit of knowing me outside of what you read here, my tongue is firmly planted in my cheek. I despise shopping. I’ll be forced to relinquish my female card as soon as this is published. Worse, I’m perfectly fine carrying a purse from Target or even Payless. Hey, I’m ahead of the recessionista trend bucking to upset many fashionistas.)

Starting at the top and working my way down: Braids, twists, and buns with a feminine yet functional look will rule well-coiffed tresses. ‘Smart’ make-ups, and not just foundations, that automatically adjust to the natural tones of your skin will abound. (I may actually like these products. No thought required. Just apply, and voila!) There will be variations of the mini-dress (start working on the legs now) with futuristic, boxy, boyish tailoring and geometric prints in sherberty pastels and hot brights. The new neutral will be hot pink. The must-have shoe: metal cage boots. (I kid you not –don’t know what they look like, but it doesn’t sound like something that goes with a dress.) Anyone else getting a visual?

Jewelry will be bigger and bolder than ever. Oversized pieces made from natural materials (look for wood and coral) will complement (not so sure about that given the clothing description above) the year’s fashions.  

Moving along, the new rage in investments will be “green” products or companies looking to “go green”. Stem-cell research is also looking promising.

Technology will bring us even more consumer electronics with the big splashes this year being made on the “home hospital” front. Cool medical gadgetry once only available to medical personnel will be yours for a moderate price, of course. But mobile personal technology will be the center of the universe for most new applications. (New applications? Good grief. How much more “wired” can we all be?)

On the exercise front, be on the lookout for all sorts of programs boasting very brief, but extremely intense workouts. (This is one I just may have to investigate. I am curious as to whether shorter, more intense suffering will garner results.  If I actually try it . . . well, you’ll probably hear me scream.)

Near the end of my semi-exhaustive trend review, I was tickled almost hot pink and felt far from neutral when I ran across the comment, “Things that are really hot for 2009 are friends and family you enjoy spending time with, clothes you can afford and feel comfortable in, jewelry from someone who loves you, and food and drink you enjoy.” Cheers to that!  Happy New Year!

© 2009 Natalie Whatley

               The new year is young, and the annual “get fit” message is in full swing. Who among us can ignore the fresh-faced people sporting the latest in workout fashions and gear, appearing in the mailbox before holiday overindulgences are fully digested? It’s enough to cause a psychotic fit only repeated when those same models appear once again, sans the workout clothes, showing off their gazelle-like bodies and loudly proclaiming “swimsuit season is here”.

                Fitness fads past and present make it quite clear that long-term motivation is key. While pondering that thought, I stumbled upon a revelation that has got to be the Holy Grail in fitness motivation for parents. There’s important work to do in the future, and we’ll need to be in tip-top shape. I know it doesn’t sound like much fun in the here and now, but anything worth having is worth waiting for, right? The anticipation alone gets my blood pumping. Do you see where this is heading? We’ve got to live into old age; there’s retribution to be paid.

                Not all parents feel the need to give back to today’s youth, but Jeff and I regularly fantasize about the things we’ll do when we visit our grown children in their homes. Recording the finer points of our plan protects good ideas from being lost to future “senior moments”, and quite frankly, it’s what keeps us going.

                As it is my goal to motivate others into good health, I’ll touch on the highlights: complain about the meals prepared; carve on the furniture with a pocket knife; put plates of half-eaten food under the bed, not to be discovered until a family of roaches has moved in, and multiplied; stop up the toilet, continue flushing until overflow is achieved, and tell no one, as this is a treat best experienced with no warning; and last, but not least, stuff wet towels (same ones used to mop up toilet overflow contents) into the deep recesses of a closet, and close the door to ensure the proper warmth and humidity mildew needs to thrive. Get the picture?

                In the past, I have dieted/exercised purely for vanity’s sake, but as I rapidly approach forty, I’m becoming more concerned with my health. This recent epiphany makes sweating and eating right sound almost enjoyable. Doctors say healthy habits that will carry us into the geriatric stage of life must be consistent, and started early. I hope I’m not too late.

                Of course I don’t really plan on doing those things to my children, but it is FUN to think about. I’m still going to make some deposits to the good-health account, and be a good steward of the vessel that will see me through this life. If nothing else, I want to be around to receive the exasperated phone calls beginning with “you’re not going to believe…”.  Yeah, I’ll believe it. I wonder if they’ll realize who planted the seed in that darling grandchild.

                Younger people secretly wonder why senior citizens are such a happy lot; now we know. Take care of yourself now…you’ll be ecstatic later.

© 2008 Natalie Whatley