Natalie Whatley

As my deadline approached and before official numbers could be tallied, our area was seriously vying to beat a July rainfall record set back in 1900 mere weeks before a massive hurricane nearly wiped Galveston off the map.

I thought the wet stuff seemed more plentiful lately, but didn’t give it much thought because it was a welcomed relief from the heat. Too bad we’re making up for that break by way of mosquito, but I complained about them a couple of weeks ago, so I’ll move along.

With so much opportunity in the air, I twice witnessed what I now know to be an unusual meteorological phenomenon: sun showers. We don’t typically call them that here in the South, so you may or may not have heard the term. It’s easy enough to figure out, though, and is simply a rain shower occurring while the sun is shining.

In the midst of one of those occurrences, I mentioned it and asked the person to whom I was speaking, “What’s up with that?”

“The devil is beating his wife!”

Wow. Echoed my thoughts exactly, but it had been ages since I’d heard that old saying. I’d be afraid to say it out loud today for a host of reasons, but that’s a topic for another day.

The disturbing phrase was one I heard from peers many times growing up and obviously it stuck with me. I didn’t really understand it then, and not sure I do now, but I gave it a thorough look-see in an effort to broaden all of our horizons.

Usage is scattered around the globe. It’s unclear where the expression originated, but here in the United States it’s fairly confined to the southern region with particular concentration in southeastern Texas and southwestern Louisiana. And there are regional variations. While many expand the phrase to indicate either the angels or the wife crying, some also say he’s beating her with a frying pan or around a stump. 

But the ones that really made me chuckle (and wince) were those that elaborated on the reasons behind the alleged beating. To some, it seems she was in trouble for burning the biscuits (Texas) or the rice (clearly, Louisiana).  I’m offended.

Someone needs reminding that the devil’s home hath no fury like a woman scorned. If he was whipped up in that type of frenzy over the way his food was prepared, why, I’d have turned around, jumped up on that stump and shown him a thing or two with that frying pan! I wonder what sort of freakish weather that would produce? Food for thought.

The weather nerds are all saying our temps this weekend will hit the triple digits as this rain event clears out and high pressure settles over us. I suppose I’ll put that frying pan down since Mother Nature is throwing us all in the fire.  But it was fun watching the devil sweat!

© 2010 Natalie Whatley

“Whether the weather be fine, whether the weather be not, whether the weather be cold, whether the weather be hot, we’ll weather the weather, whatever the weather, whether we like it or not.” (Author unknown) I don’t know who opened the freezer door and left it ajar, but B-R-R-R-R!  

Being an outdoorsy kind of girl who needs plenty of fresh air and sunshine to survive requires me to keep track of the weather. I recall the last cold snap we had of this magnitude because I was home with a newborn. We curled up in blankets and napped peacefully in between feedings. That was 13 years ago.

So, I’ve had a long run of not being too confined inside my home’s walls during winter. Now that my kids are older and I’m free to roam during school hours, I didn’t take the news that it may be two weeks before we see highs over 60 well.

Meteorologists say that the cold blast reaching us down in Texas is likely caused by El Niño, which makes our winters here in The Lone Star State cooler and wetter than normal. (If memory serves me, El Niño also lessens our threat from hurricanes. In that regard, I welcome its return.) I believe 30 degrees below our “normal” high temps qualifies as “cooler”.

Folks here in these parts aren’t accustomed to these frigid temps. For starters, we don’t have the wardrobe for it. Heck, I’d go buy some thicker clothing for me and the family, but it appears I missed the winter-clothes-shopping window.  

If you haven’t seen, bathing suits are already out in stores. I’ve pointed out previously how this frosts me to no end.  The weeks following the astounding pig-out triad –Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years – are not the time to remind me of swimsuit season. Even though I’m actually in better shape now than I was this past summer, I refuse to go there. It’s the principal of the matter. I will boycott swimsuit purchasing until at least March.

Since we’ve had such a long spell of relatively mild winters, I quit buying standard winter-wear. I lost count of the boxes and bags of clothing donated –tags still hanging from the never-worn garments –because children outgrew something before it was cold enough to wear it, or heaven forbid, it went out of style. Those goofy kids running around in shorts and flip-flops right now . . . mine. And know that they all own jackets and jeans, but adamantly state it’s too hot at school with the heat cranked up. Sigh. I try, but there’s not much fight left in me.

I guess we can all be thankful this round of record lows was forecasted to be without precipitation. How to put this tactfully? Let’s just say that many of us in this neck of the woods can’t drive on ice. And I say that lovingly as I’m included – born and raised in Southeast Texas. We’re not mentally equipped for the task (admitting it is the first step), and most of us don’t own the tools necessary to outfit our vehicles.

Another silver lining: Millions of fleas and mosquitoes will perish. Join me in not shedding one tear.

Even covered vegetation isn’t expected to survive. For years I’ve dreamed of pulling everything out of my flowerbeds and starting over. Sounds like I’m going to get my wish, much to the chagrin of the men in the house who will be forced to provide the labor.

Best of all, it gives us something to talk about – a real ice-breaker to get conversation (or a column) flowing.

“Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand can turn out a good article on it” –Mark Twain.  I tried. And you read it . . . whether you liked it, or not.

© 2010 Natalie Whatley